Rox

It is frustrating endlessly that all of the things that i want to do either are or feel like they are stuck behind a like... prerequisite? Everything i want to do and feel desperately in need of are all tied up in whether or not i can get a job, and some of them directly affect my ability to be employed. it feels like a self defeating spiral, with no clear end in sight. it all depends on the invisible benevolence of some HR person deciding to interview me, and even that i could very easily mess up...

Anyways, i wish that therapy was covered under OHIP more extensively at least, i wish that my U.S. prescription for hrt didnt need to be represcribed and then put on a now 5 months waiting list, i wish that apartments werent expensive, i wish i wish i wish.

I especially wish that i had the focus and clarity of mind to be as dedicated to one thing as i feel i need to to actually be productive. I hate doing just bits and pieces of things, never getting to see a fully fleshed out image of my passion and potential coming to fruition. But it all feeds into eachother...

Anyways, im stuck, so is like everyone around me, and it doesnt feel like it ever ends but it does sometimes. It was raining gently out, there were people at the community fridge and i helped out. The clouds were pretty and the air was fresh. And my cat Panther was chilling with me for a moment :] and i still need to buy clay...