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gender_catalyst i hate needing the internet to connect w friends and people all over the place. and also feeling so detached from everything and also feeling like my computer is just making my brain focus on things that dont help and its not the internet its not the computer its me its my brain. i need to get a phone with nothing but buttons and texting and calls. i have this realization and exasperation every month or so, ugh.
no job still, jobless andy, unemployed andy, unhirable andy. 3rd shot of T , if i count the Before times its like what... 4 months on T? with a big ol 5-6 month gap inbetween. i am so upset all the time but the worst part is struggling to be useful while upset at my uselessness. blehhhh
i really feel like a snail and i need therapy but therapy is dumb and not good and i need meds but they dont fix the problem and i need to just. face myself and accept and work with myself but i find the thing that is me unbearable. and i need to look normal to people, or figure out how to be ok with not looking normal to people. and i need to put my thoughts and feelings on this small digital letter and place it neatly in this corner that is dusty and bland because if i dont at least put my thoughts and feelings somewhere im just gonna keep putting them into empty space. and thats where i forget them and continue this cycle
sorry im not looking at what is being said or shared and only listing my thoughts but if i do this its better than not existing at all i guess. even if its useless.
no job still, jobless andy, unemployed andy, unhirable andy. 3rd shot of T , if i count the Before times its like what... 4 months on T? with a big ol 5-6 month gap inbetween. i am so upset all the time but the worst part is struggling to be useful while upset at my uselessness. blehhhh
i really feel like a snail and i need therapy but therapy is dumb and not good and i need meds but they dont fix the problem and i need to just. face myself and accept and work with myself but i find the thing that is me unbearable. and i need to look normal to people, or figure out how to be ok with not looking normal to people. and i need to put my thoughts and feelings on this small digital letter and place it neatly in this corner that is dusty and bland because if i dont at least put my thoughts and feelings somewhere im just gonna keep putting them into empty space. and thats where i forget them and continue this cycle
sorry im not looking at what is being said or shared and only listing my thoughts but if i do this its better than not existing at all i guess. even if its useless.
